May 12, 2020

Plastic Surgery: Just Fix it or Quit it?

Oh boy, what a topic, right? When I think of plastic surgery I think of boob jobs.


I'm a guy.


Of course, I realize it extends beyond just the boobs. I remember growing up in the early 90's when nose jobs were the big thing in High School. I think when I was younger the idea of a girl in school with that sleek, slightly sloped, cute button nose and big round boobs was pretty appealing. What she had to go through to achieve this masterful look and pecker rising sensation in me was of little consequence or concern. What did I care? She looked good, right? After all, that's what's important right? I mean Playboy, Penthouse, and Hustler weren't read by little boys like me for the articles. That's like girls going to the mall cause they love the escalators. No, I didn't think so.


I'm not that same young kid anymore. Not even close. First of all I'm not a boob man. I've always said, "Anything more than a handful is risked a sprained tongue". You can use that...I think I stole it from someone else too. More importantly and inappropriately following that last comment I'm a dad and a dad of two young, impressionable children.


Before I continue let me just say that my forthcoming thoughts are predicated on the notion that said people are otherwise healthy individuals. I'm not going to speak about people that need reconstructive surgery for other reasons as I do believe there are appropriate times. Rather I'm about to discuss that girl (yes there are guys too) walking down the street, mall, pick your favorite store, that's for all intents and purposes are healthy and "normal".


So let's get down to basics. You want plastic surgery because you're insecure. That's okay. There's nothing wrong with feeling insecure. It's what happens next that is questionable or I might argue not even right. You're going to solve your emotional insecurities by appealing to the masses? No scratch that, Men!? I mean, really? Ladies, Men are idiots. Guess what? I'm one of them, I know! You don't listen to us now so why the hell are you going to go and perform major surgery on yourself based on what we think we want?


The way to self assurance and confidence is not through the appeal of other men (or women) but rather from within yourself. Men/Society doesn't give you inner courage and strength. Men/Society isn't what defines your self worth, your attractiveness. These things come from within! You emote these things through your inner beauty. Again, we're talking about an inside out approach. You find your core, your inner self and through realization and acceptance you emote beauty outward. It's a fallacy to think that self-confidence and beauty are things derived from outward appearances.


Before you try and change what's on the outside to fix what's on the inside look deep within you. You're beautiful, you're smart, your funny, you're charismatic, you're sexy, you're compassionate. You are already all the qualities of what you want that special someone to see in you. But guess what? None of them are in your breasts. And you know what? They never were and they never will be.


Take it from a horny, run of the mill dude...The things that are really attractive to us? The things that really get us going? They're not really in the magazines, they're not really filled with silicone. They're the things that we can't see. They're the things we can only feel. Cause you know what? We're just as insecure and even though we may have fat guts our insides are pretty nice too.

Before I had children, I used to manage a high end women’s clothing boutique. I obsessed over the latest trends, consulted the buyer, and even walked in a few of our fashion shows. Those things were fun, but my favorite part of this job was the clientele. I loved being a personal stylist to our regular clients, and assisting the various princesses that came into the boutique with bottomless purses and flawless physiques.


Our best client was a stripper. She also happened to be the mother of an acquaintance of mine, and I never passed judgment. She was gorgeous, funny and seemed genuinely honest. She would come into the store with wads of cash stuffed in crisp envelopes neatly tucked into her Louie Vuitton handbag, and had no problem flaunting it.


One afternoon, she came into the store completely bandaged up. She was wearing what looked to be a full body Ace bandage under a flowing silk maxi dress. A week or so before, she had 4 or 5 areas of her body liposuctioned, and the mummy-like bandage was holding her in place until it recovered. This woman was nearly 40 at the time, had two children and a litany of procedures done (use your imagination). She looked to me to be only about 30 years old.


Part of me was horrified at the entire idea of full body bandages, needles, injections, and enhancements. The larger part of me, however, was curious. After all, I worked and lived in an area full of rich, gorgeous people; This was not uncommon in any respect. Even still, I was pretty confident that I would never entertain the idea of getting plastic surgery.


That was until after I had two children.


My body is entirely different. Where I used to be narrow, I am wide. Where I once possessed glowing porcelain skin now is weathered by the effects of stress and age. I see fine lines creeping up and never leaving, I sag where I once perked. Looking in the mirror I see dull rather than shine.

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My feelings about plastic surgery have changed.


Last week, I received a pitch from a medical spa here in NYC. They offered me a free procedure in exchange for a review on my personal blog. Botox or lip injections. At first I thought it was hilarious… and then I realized it was awesome. I tweeted my good fortune and received a litany of mixed reactions. I also mentioned how disapproving my husband is to the idea. He cannot support any plastic surgery unless it’s a boob job. Fascinating, truly. Boggles the mind..

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I just want a little smoothing out, a little firming up. I feel better than I have ever felt in my life, and I am disappointed that what I see in the mirror is not reflecting that. I would trade in my looks any day for my beautiful children, but I feel as though it isn’t necessary. I always said that I would embrace my grey hair and wrinkles (how gorgeous is Jaime Lee Curtis?), but I’m just not ready to in my early 30′s.


So what, pray tell, is so wrong with wanting a little help? I’m not talking about full body lipo or a face replacement or even breast augmentation. I just want an eensy weensy, semi-permanent Jane Jetson revamp. For .

I’m not changing my identity, I’m simply considering going in for a little tune up.

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